Thank You for Judging Me

Judgment.

We seem to be terrified of it - terrified of being judged and paranoid that judgment is around every corner and coming from every person.

In my counseling room, the statement, "Please don't judge me" often comes as a desperate plea to not be misunderstood, not be hurt, and not feel shame. Because for many of us judgment has resulted in some dark places in our lives. Shame. Pain. Humiliation. Embarrassment. Grief.

Goodness knows I have experienced my fair share of harsh judgments throughout my life. People making grand judgments about who I am, what I believe, choices I have made, you name it. It hurts. A lot. The accusations have been fierce and the assumptions brutal. These harsh judgments have cut deep places into my soul spiraling me into questions about not only who I am and choices I have made, but also who is God and what is truth. It has felt, at times, helplessly dark and confusing, scary and seemingly hopeless.

But God.

Here's what I've noticed over the years -- Each time someone judges us, makes accusations and grand assumptions, we have, in essence, two choices: (1) believe them or (2) take the accusations and judgments and lay them before the throne of grace and mercy; and in our time of need ask our Heavenly Father what He thinks. Each time the judgment comes barreling in our direction we can let it trap us in hurt and shame or we can let it push us further into a place of light and truth. We can't stop the judgment from coming our way, but we can decide what we do with it.

While talking about the issue of judgment and mistreatment, Sarah Hagerty writes, "... we need to reframe the way we view and respond to mistreatment. If we can see it as a form of hiding in God, it takes on significance. In God's hands, it becomes a tool He uses to redirect the human heart toward finding its value in Him rather than in other human beings... Your best gift today may be the one who misunderstands you or even opposes you. Your adversary may actually be your advocate, the one moving you closer to God."* (emphasis mine)

My adversary as my advocate? The one who judges me is helping me? I'm not sure most of us operate that way. But what if that could be true? What if we did not have to be terrified of judgment, but rather could focus on what it gives us the opportunity to do - come before our Heavenly Father and ask, "What do you think about me? Who do you say I am? What is your truth?" And in the sweet covering of His love and kindness, truth and light will reign in our hearts while the harsh false judgments will be silenced and darkness will have no choice but to flee.

Years ago I am not sure I could have viewed my adversaries as my advocates, but I find myself now resonating with Hagerty's words. And in a strange way I find myself almost wanting to say, "Thank you for judging me" because it forced me to move closer and closer to the only One who has the right to harshly judge me and the only One who never does.

Could you do the same?

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*Excerpt from Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World that Loves to be Noticed