My Complex Niche

"What are you looking for in a thearpist?" she inquired.

I paused. Thinking through exactly what it was that I wanted and needed before taking a deep breath and replying, "I need someone to let things be complicated. I don't want to be offered a quick fix because I don't think there is one. I guess I need someone who is willing to be with me in the hard..."

And that was the truth. As a therapist myself I knew what forms of therapy I most resonated with and I knew what approaches and methods would support my healing journey. But more than anything I also knew my story was complicated. I knew there were pieces of what I was facing that simply had no easy answers and I needed someone to be there with me in it. To gently sit with me, examine the jagged pieces laying in front of me, and not try to tell me that it all could be fixed. Because I knew that it couldn't. I needed to not be alone in the hard, the complex, and the complicated. And more than anything I needed to know that even though it would never all be fixed - I would still be ok.

I know I am not alone in this need.

When people ask me what my "niche" is as a therapist, I always struggle to answer. I've narrowed it down over the years to the top issues I most typically see in my office, but the truth is where I feel I most thrive is in the complicated stories riddled with layers of nuance and multiple facets of harm. Because I get it.

I get the client who comes to me and is not quite sure even where to begin. I get the client who has more questions than they know what to do with. I get the client who has been labeled with every possible diagnosis and yet knows those official numbered codes will never quite capture exactly what they have endured and what they now carry with them. I get the client who knows they were sexually abused, but also recognize they struggle with food and their body, and somewhere in there they wonder if what they experienced was acutally spiritual abuse? I get it. And I want to be with them in it because some stories just do not have simple answers and we need to know that even if these things don't ever get fully fixed we can still be ok. That in the midst of the hard there is still life.

So what is my true niche?

I guess I am a trauma trained (and trauma impacted) counselor who loves to sit with people in all of the complexities of their story confidently knowing that while we will never fix it all we can still (and WILL still) be ok.